Ex Luna scientia
by MsTonksLupin
Summary: From the moon, knowledge RemusTonks. After the Hospital Wing scene, Remus seeks some peace in the forest. He doesn't expect that he'll find Luna Lovegood, his former student whose name means his biggest fear, and he most certainly doesn't expect to hear the most unexpected words of wisdom from a fifteen year old. "If you've ever hurt someone, then it wasn't the moon's fault."


**This is probably the randomest thing I've ever written, but one of my favorites too! Lupin and Luna, the two **_**children of the moon**_**, not romantic at all, but still a precious conversation. Remus and Tonks are in love of course. Right after the hospital wing scene in Half Blood Prince.**

**Please review:)**

_"But I don't care either, I don't care! I've told you a million times..."  
_Dark circles under her eyes, mousy brown hair surrounding her pale face, still painfully beautiful, even when she suffered. What had gone wrong? Why would it have to be _him _who would take away everything that brought smile to such a young, innocent face?  
_Dumbledore is dead. Snape killed him.  
_No, don't think, it hurts too much. Don't deal with it now, you need silence. You need darkness, so you can't see the bad of the world.  
You need the forest.

Remus Lupin quickened his step that took him deeper into the dark Forest. He needed to be alone, away from everyone, forever, or just for a while… How he hated that forest, how he hated the monster that he was every time he found himself in it. That forest had seen the worst of Remus John Lupin, that forest had witnessed more truth than any other place, than any other man. It was the first time that Remus Lupin wished that he would transform right there, he begged to become a wolf that wouldn't have the ability to think, to hurt or to remember.

_Dumbledore is dead._

Words from an eerie song he hadn't heard before filled the cool night air, and his hand immediately reached for his wand in his pocket. Images of dark creatures he knew so much about, jumped out of the pages of all his favorite books, but he was tired, so tired that he wished he could freeze time so that he didn't have to defend himself from a creature, a banshee, possibly. He needed to lay down on the fallen leaves and close his eyes for a while. He had fought enough for others' safety that night, he didn't have strength to fight for his own.

He carefully made a few steps, and then noticed a figure sitting by a tree, golden hair being stroked by the half moon's light. He lowered his wand, wishing he wouldn't be noticed, but just then, Luna Lovegood turned and gave him a faint smile. "Hello, Professor Lupin!" she said in her dreamy voice. "Did I scare you?"

Remus couldn't help but think that she had indeed scared him. If it was another day, kind feelings would have appeared at the sight of that fascinating student, but he was tired, and he wished he'd be alone. "You shouldn't be here, Luna. The forest is dangerous at night."

"Dangerous is what we don't respect. And we must respect dark creatures. You taught me that."

He didn't answer. He stared at the strange girl, trying to figure her out. "I know you're a werewolf." She said calmly. He couldn't help but think bitterly that she wasn't the only Hogwarts student who knew about his condition. "I'm not afraid of you."

He found words getting out of his mouth before he was able to control them. "You seem like a fearless girl."

She slowly shook her head. "I'm afraid of things, all people are, that's why I came here tonight, after Dumbledore was killed. I always sing when I'm afraid, it makes me feel better. I'm afraid of war, I'm afraid for people, I'm afraid because they can be so bad."

He noticed grief and sadness in her voice that he hadn't realized she felt until then.

"Are you afraid, Professor?" she continued.

He nodded absent mindedly.

"What are you afraid of?"

He was brought back to reality, and turn to look at her. "Many things. I'm… I'm afraid of hurting other people, I'm afraid of being hurt, of losing more people I care about, I'm afraid of the moon…" he stopped talking, suddenly feeling extremely ashamed for opening up to his former student, wondering what he was thinking. However, the pale girl just stared at him with an understanding look on her face.

"It seems to me that you are only afraid of yourself."

His heart started racing. The fifteen year old girl's words hit him like a punch in the face. She sounded older, she sounded wise, and she most definitely didn't sound "Loony", as her classmates often used to call her. "You should be afraid of myself too." he said with a voice so quiet, that even he couldn't hear it properly.

Her eyes opened widely with interest. "But I'm not. You think people shouldn't like you but they do. You believe they are afraid of you, like you are, but they aren't! That's bad. You should let others judge you, and be sure they will judge you fairly."

"Sometimes people are blinded. Not by hatred, but by… positive feelings. They can't see that I'm not who they think I am. They can't see I can hurt them."

"But you can't." she said in a slow voice, like explaining something to a little kid.

The young girl clearly didn't understand. "I'm a werewolf, Luna." Remus Lupin whispered. "Werewolves are some of the darkest creatures."

"Mum used to say that some men are more dangerous than any dark creature." Luna muttered, hugging her knees. Remus turned his head to the castle's direction, thinking of Albus Dumbledore, who had been killed that night, by the hand of a man he –_they- _had always trusted.

"What else did your mother use to say?"

"She always told me to not feel bad for myself, to not try to be normal, because being normal is good, but being different is better. She also told me to look at the moon every time I felt alone. The moon will always be there, even when I think that nobody else is. My name means Moon, did you know that, Professor?" she smiled softly.

Remus nodded. "Petra Lovegood had always been a wise woman. And your name is very nice."

"It's sad that you're afraid of the moon, just because it makes you different. The moon will always be there for you to turn your head and find it. When you think everything else has changed, this will be the same. After all, it isn't always full!"

His heart ached at the thought of Nymphadora saying exactly the same thing to him in the past.

"If you've ever hurt someone, then it wasn't the moon's fault." She said enigmatically. "There are many ways to hurt a person you love and that might not include murderous fangs. But you can always make up for it."

Images of Tonks' dark hair and pale skin, of her tired eyes filled with tears, of Tonks begging him to understand, images of everyone staring at him in the Hospital Wing after Bill was bitten… and more images, or rather memories of every kind. The scent of her body, the taste of her lips, her small hand in his, the sound of her laughter…

How could he have been so blind? He had hurt Tonks deeply, but Luna was right: he wasn't transformed when he did that. He had been fully human. Or so he thought.

A sound was heard from the trees behind them. He immediately stood up and raised his wand, but Luna remained calm. It appeared that she was expecting their visitor. He lowered his wand when he saw a thestral walking toward them. He had been able to see them for years now, but their threatening appearance took him by surprise every time.

Luna stood on her toes and stroked the creature's head. He stood there silent, staring at the peaceful scene.

"Do you like thestrals, Professor Lupin?" she asked softly.

"I do." He said simply.

"Then you are a good man." He noticed a smile on her face "You're always there to help Harry, and you were a very interesting teacher. Dad always said it was wrong of you to leave. _Who is better than a brave werewolf with knowledge of quantic forms of defence to teach you how to take care of yourselves? _He said."

If Remus Lupin wasn't that exhausted both physically and emotionally, he would have laughed at the atrocious thought of Xenophilius Lovegood thinking that he even knew the existence of quantic forms of self defence. But not now. Luna had proved to be one of the most interesting young people he'd ever met. She reminded him of young Lily Evans, but in a different way.

Finally, he remembered that he had once been a teacher. "Now, Luna, I must make sure you return to the castle safely. I think it's time we headed back. It's been a particularly dangerous night, even Hogwarts isn't safe anymore, and it was completely foolish of me to let you stay here just after Death Eaters left the school."

She didn't protest. She said goodbye to her friend and walked beside him to the way back to school. "And you?" she asked casually. "Are you going to find her?"

Remus Lupin almost forgot how to breathe. That definitely was the most unexpected thing to hear from Luna, who knew less about life than anybody else. "What do you mean? Find who?" he asked with his hear hammering in his ears.

She turned and looked at him questioningly. "You know, that auror with the nice name who was in the Department of Mysteries last year? I saw her running down the stairs, crying. It's obvious that you two have something in common apart from Dumbledore's death!"

If Remus Lupin wasn't completely speechless, he would have felt amazed at how courageously Luna had said all these with such easiness to an adult she barely knew, let alone her former professor. But now he couldn't think at all, because his heart was beating so fast.

"We… we had a fight." He muttered. "Do you think she'll want to see me? She'll be angry."

"She won't be angry. Only afraid. We all are." Her eyes opened widely again, and a big, dreamy smile appeared on her face. "You should sing to her!"

"I… I can't sing." He replied rather stupidly.

"Everybody can sing! You don't need a good voice. All her fears will go away then. Promise me you'll sing to her!"

All that was complete madness. During the past few hours, Death Eaters had just attacked Hogwarts, Albus Dumbledore had been killed from the very Severus Snape, and yet still, in the middle of the war, Nymphadora Tonks had declared her love for him in front of everyone else, and now he, Remus Lupin, was walking in the Black Forest, discussing his love life with a student he hadn't talked for ages, having the roles completely reversed. He wasn't the professor anymore, Luna was.

It was mental. But that was why she was Loony Luna and he was Loony Loopy Lupin.

And that was why he wasn't afraid of the moon.

Since the world was going crazy, would it hurt to promise her that he would sing to Nymphadora? Nothing that he did or said could surprise him anymore. "I promise."

"So are you going to find her?" she grinned. He realized that they were outside the gates of Hogwarts. He pulled his wand out to send a patronus for someone to come and escort Luna inside.

"Absolutely."

"Well then, when you do, please tell her to make her hair pink again. It definitely suits her more than brown!"

Remus pleaded Minerva McGonagall to not give Luna detention, but she wasn't going to do such a thing anyway, not in a night like that, and then he turned around and started walking to Hogsmeade breathlessly.

Enough. He had resisted enough. He was going to find Tonks. For once in his life, he was going to be happy. For once in his life, he was going to sing.


End file.
